We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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