and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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