she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize