Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
