He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
