Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
