I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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