Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
