And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize