I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
