I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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