I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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