she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
