The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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