hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
