Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
