whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
