He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
