i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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