i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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