Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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