the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hippo gnu deer
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
