You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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