My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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