he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
