She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dear god my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
