You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
