Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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