is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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