he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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