Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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