Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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