i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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