She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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