I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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