Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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