Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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