just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
