i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
