Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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