The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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