What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
