____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think my tv is drunk
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
