come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
