That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
