lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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