oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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