"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
