I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
