I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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