Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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