He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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