I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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