Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
