operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
