we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
