your parents love me but you hate me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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