I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
