we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
