Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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