nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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