Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
