Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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