the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want a musical about memes.