Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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  (505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9
  Replies (12) Good night (4203) Bad night (552)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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  (845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar
  Replies (17) Good night (1022) Bad night (2750)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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  (609): im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room http://tfl.nu/jxea
  Replies (22) Good night (740) Bad night (4226)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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  (678): We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine. http://tfl.nu/3sll
  Replies (29) Good night (886) Bad night (4166)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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  (609): She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good. http://tfl.nu/1igy
  Replies (113) Good night (1785) Bad night (11001)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2598) Bad night (4830)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2788) Bad night (778)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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  (623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt
  Replies (9) Good night (970) Bad night (4026)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies

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  (937): BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies http://tfl.nu/slm2
  Replies (6) Good night (430) Bad night (829)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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  (517): I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs http://tfl.nu/fis6
  Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (548)
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  (619): View more from California

  he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.

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  (619): he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/fyou
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (1061)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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  (509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (354)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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  (956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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  (252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1
  Replies (10) Good night (367) Bad night (1066)

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