Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..