Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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  (608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0
  Replies (18) Good night (1313) Bad night (2674)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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  (775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn
  Replies (196) Good night (2188) Bad night (16933)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (469): you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted. http://tfl.nu/d3cr
  Replies (12) Good night (5359) Bad night (721)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform

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  (870): You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform http://tfl.nu/z93z
  Replies (7) Good night (4721) Bad night (1018)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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  (412): I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again http://tfl.nu/0m8m
  Replies (14) Good night (1129) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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  (786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm
  Replies (3) Good night (3242) Bad night (1025)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

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  (404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night http://tfl.nu/nrlr
  Replies (12) Good night (7226) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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  (281): Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute. http://tfl.nu/xxsd
  Replies (12) Good night (3732) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.

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  (414): czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw. http://tfl.nu/4g8m
  Replies (7) Good night (1831) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.

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  (250): Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks. http://tfl.nu/2d3d
  Replies (3) Good night (1889) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great

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  (435): And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great http://tfl.nu/18wk
  Replies (0) Good night (862) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.

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  (920): I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/db61
  Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i bang your brother are we still cool?

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  (412): if i bang your brother are we still cool? http://tfl.nu/9e2i
  Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!

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  (810): He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect! http://tfl.nu/9c1u
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.

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  (312): I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now. http://tfl.nu/q74w
  Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (581)

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