Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
zippers are such a cool invention
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize