If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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