Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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